Every fast food joint these days has some burger they are calling a steak burger and I must say, that’s bull shit. At the very best they have a higher grade hamburger and not a steak burger as they claim.

Here is what a hamburger is:

  • They take the extra parts of a cow and grind it up and put it a package
  • Someone else or some machine forms it into patty shape
  • Some punk kid cooks it up
  • you eat it

Here is what a “Steak” burger is:

  • They take a specific part of a cow, but probably a shitty cow that wasn’t good enough for your BBQ and grind that part up and put it in a package
  • Someone else or some machine form it into patty shape but a slightly bigger one cause it’s apparently a fuckin steak!
  • Some punk kid cooks it up for you and another one charges you $3 extra cause it’s apparently fuckin steak!
  • You eat it cause you have to now.

So, one step gets slightly modified but really it is still a hamburger to me just one that costs to damn much!

If I ordered a steak burger I’d expect someone to ask me how I’d like it done and then I would expect a piece of an NY strip between two buns not an over priced hamburger.

Here is what is great about steak:

  • They’re huge!
  • They’re juicy!
  • They can bleed a bit when you eat it and not kill you!
  • They usually come with great things like corn or beer!
  • The dog can chew on the remains so it is a multi purpose purchase!

Here are the shitty things about a steak burger:

  • Eat one that’s pink or slightly bloody, I dare you and then talk to me in a week and let me know how you feel.
  • Cooked to health standards they’re shit and dry
  • Being thicker than regular burgers just magnifies the dryness
  • They usually come with “fries” and “Ice water cola”
  • They are cooked by some punk kid that hates you
  • They cost about half as much as a steak but in reality it would be way more enjoyable to pony up the extra 5 bucks and eat a real steak!

Steak season is upon us people so don’t waste your time on these wannabe steak burgers and fire up the grill.

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  1. Soft spot?

  2. I could go for a big piece of bloody steak.

  3. prick.

  4. I need to make my rants longer…*idea*

  5. I had steak 2 weekends in a row suckas!

  6. lucky ducky.

  7. True story. Had a T-Bone on Saturday

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